Dan's answer is spot on. Based on the facts in your question I would guess you're in the 3-10% range, lower if your salary is close to market. I would add that because of the 1 year cliff, having a large equity stake makes you more likely to be let go quickly if you're valuable but not as valuable as expected to the company. I would say that's largely a good thing, but based on your risk profile you may disagree.

first, please put a bit more effort into your question, it's barely comprehensible. regarding your employee: talk to him, find out what level of ownership and what risk profile tickles his fancy. leave room for increases in the future. open communication + transparency --> make sure everyone's on the same page regarding expectations, roles, time commitments, etc. good luck.

Red flags: no recent investments; bad references from previous investees; Yellow flags: uninspired, superficial qursti

Social proof. AngelList is one online component of a primarily offline and relationship-driven process. Startups are not commodities and AL is not eBay. You have to do the legwork to ensure your Co is worth the attention. Focus on bringing onboard advisors and investors who have a high angellist rank. Linking to your page would help. You want followers as well as people that engage more deeply.

I'm not sure one exists. The general best practice is for businesses and communities is to go where your fans already are: Facebook groups, G+ pages, etc. the examples you mention are very Web 1.0 an quite clunky without lots of work. I'd be interested to see what the conversion of your fb fans into a stand alone community will be. Vbulletin and others are fine but, like I said, clunky.

you need to be very disciplined about quitting responsibilities, saying no, clearing your plate. A startup is more than a full-time job, do everything in your power to narrow your focus and avoid burdening yourself with commitments. in the same vein, be proactive not reactive. set aside a portion of your day for "work" and don't respond to emails or calls during that time. do what you decided to do, not whatever feels right in the moment. the feeling of progress will give you fuel to keep going.